Pirate update

Ahoy, yon retard pirates:

Ahahahahah, India's kicking your ass! Iran was quick on the uptake and sent out a load of poisoned cheese for you rat-bastards back in September.

If I were an owner of these vessels, I would hire some snipers. Not to shoot the pirates, though - I am a fan of multiple birds, one stone. Therefore, I propose R&D into rifle flare rounds. The tiny speedboats these pirates use are not special forces grade; simply shoot said flare round into the vicinity of the gas tank.

If they die from the explosion? Great! If they drown, great! If they live, even better - spread the word of the horror.

Also - stop paying the ransoms. Start shooting them instead. Violence and force is the only language they understand. Oh, and for any bleeding hearts whining at this post? Read this page, and see how much money got blown on that cesspool for just 2008.

ell oh ell

Uh, ahoy you retard pirates.

Not sure if you got the memo or not, but China is usually serious business.

So is Saudia Arabia. (Noticeably more views of the "after" versus China's plethora of "before" shots.)

I'm pretty sure you guys are thinking you're dealing with the UN.

Well, you aren't. Thanks, though - I needed a good chuckle. I'm pretty sure by mid next week we won't be hearing *anything* about you. At all.

Protip: Try stealing from someone with a good human rights record!

ALSO: Gas is 1.99 where I am. See?


If you're like me, you said "Oh sure, right, that'll happen when gas goes under two bucks again!" This is usually accompanied by snickering and the fairly common opinion that swine will gain voluntary altitude before such happenings occur. Well, hope nobody calls me out on any bold statements...

The Day After

A black president! Wow.

First of all, congratulations. I don't mean that in a bitchy way, either.

Now, you won't see me out there turning cars over and rioting because McCain didn't win (I have a job, you see), but the feeling of apprehension and dismay must be what all the libs felt when Bush was re-elected.

To all the race baiting folk (Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, this means you) SHUT UP! We elected a black President. Your time is over. Away with you - never shit up my internet screens again.

President-elect Obama: Couple things here - first of all, please please PLEASE do not get hurt in a questionable manner or (god forbid, seriously) killed. We will never hear the end of it and then we're stuck with Biden, which is one step closer to Pelosi, and both my soul and the baby Jesus cry at the thought of Pelosi in your shoes. Secondly, don't hose up your time in office. There are still a ton of Americans who classify all possibility of action by a race in a single person's actions, and if you screw the pooch, it will be a horrible liability to any future minority president. Worse than Bush's was to McCain!

Finally, don't be a marxist prick and take my guns and tax me into next week. Thanks!

oh well

So, you blinked up there on the Hill, and passed the bailout. The Magical Unicorn Bill that was to cascade light and sugar down upon Wall Street, ensuring that milk and honey would continue to flow from every orifice of every investment company.

There's stuff flowing all right, and it looks like the Dow flowing downhill. So, now taxpayers are stuck with this enormous new debt, for which the sacrifice is going to do little to no good. Excellent going, guys! Boy, Pelosi's Congress sure is something, isn't it?

Get out there and vote - apathy only bites you in the ass.